A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE

"Doctor, I have an ear ache."
2000 BC - "Here, eat this root."
1000 BC - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 AD - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 AD - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 AD - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2000 AD - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"

The big sissy

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was  tucking her small boy into bed.  She was about to turn off the  light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,
"Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"  The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't  dear,"  she said. 
"I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
 "The big sissy."

A Cross-Eyed Bear Named Gladly

A child came home from Sunday School and told his mother  that he had learned a new song about a cross-eyed bear named  Gladly.  It took his  mother a while before she realized that  the hymn was really "Gladly The Cross I'd Bear,"

The Computer is Down

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. So what else would you like to be?"
The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains."
"So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.
The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week 'count', St. Peter?"
"No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing."
"In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud."
"So be it," says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.
A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks.
"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult."
"Why?" asketh the Lord.
"He's on a snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota."

Ancient Bible

A little boy found a bible so old it was covered in 12 inches of dust. The little boy scooped away the dust and then slowly opened the ancient bible.

As he opened the bible he noticed a leaf. He quickly ran to his mom and said, "Look what I found mom!"

The mom asked, "What is it"?

"I think it's Adams underwear", replied the boy.